As with decluttering your language when it comes to food, as discussed in my third book, MORE TO Mealtimes, to create a positive environment at the kitchen table and to support a healthy relationship with food for your children, Holly Richardson, Life and Relationship coach, and I were discussing how decluttering your emotional language around your children can have an enormous impact on the family environment.
It was with my pleasure to introduce this guest blog.
Organising your home goes beyond maintaining a decluttered living space, it also extends to how we navigate our emotional environments. When it comes to our family dynamics, the impact of a clean and healthy environment includes the way we communicate, behave, and how we model relationships to our children.
Why Language Matters
Children are incredibly perceptive. They absorb not only what you say but how you say it, learning their own communication patterns from the way you interact with them and your partner. Being mindful of your language, both in how you communicate with your children and your partner, helps create an emotionally safe environment. This isn’t just about avoiding arguments in front of the kids but involves intentionally choosing words that build connection rather than tension.
For example, instead of saying, "You always forget to take the bins out!” you could rephrase this to, "It would be really helpful if you remembered to take out the bins today." The shift from accusatory to collaborative language teaches children the importance of framing feedback in a positive light. When children witness you handling difficult situations with calmness and kindness, they learn to do the same.
Decluttering Your Communication with Children
Decluttering isn't just for your physical space, it's also vital for how you communicate with your children. It’s easy to fall into patterns of overly complicated or emotionally charged language, which can confuse or overwhelm kids. Simplifying your language and making it clear and direct helps children feel more secure.
For example, when giving instructions or explaining your expectations, be concise and avoid unnecessary emotional baggage. Instead of saying, “I don’t know why you can’t ever listen to me when I ask you to pick up your toys,” opt for a straightforward approach like, “Please pick up your toys now so we have time to go to the park later.”
By cutting out the emotional clutter, you're offering your children the opportunity to understand what's required of them without feeling criticised. This approach also reduces stress in your household, as clear communication helps prevent misunderstandings.
Modelling Healthy Behaviours with Your Partner
Your relationship with your partner is the template from which your children learn about adult relationships. Arguing or using dismissive language in front of them creates confusion and anxiety. Regulating your behaviour means committing to healthy conflict resolution techniques and being mindful of how your actions are perceived.
Make a conscious effort to resolve disagreements with your partner that demonstrate respectful problem-solving techniques. This shows your children that it’s okay to have differences, and that you can work through them with empathy and understanding. Instead of raising voices, practice calm discussion. Instead of blame, use ownership of feelings: “I feel frustrated when…” rather than “You never…”. This behaviour doesn’t just teach children how to manage their own emotions but also how to create healthy relationships as they grow.
Final Thoughts
Children flourish in environments that are both physically and emotionally organised. When there’s less chaos in the home, there’s more room for calm, connection, and intentional communication. Regularly check in with yourself and your partner about how you’re communicating and behaving in front of the children. Ask, “Is this the example we want to set?”.
Whether you’re working on decluttering your physical space or fine-tuning your relationships, remember that the two are often interconnected, and both are essential for a peaceful, thriving family life!
Holly x
Holly Richardson
Life & Relationship Coach at Empowered House.
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